What are you saying - especially to yourself?

Listen to yourself.

Your words mean something, even when you're the only person around to hear them.

We all have phrases we repeat without noticing: “I can't do this.” “Nothing ever works out.” “I'm an idiot.” “I'm too old.” “I'm not good enough.”

Say something often enough and it can start to sound less like a passing thought and more like your identity.

But not every thought deserves to become a sentence. And not every sentence deserves to become a belief.

Out of the Abundance

Jesus said, “out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks” in Luke 6:45.

I think about that verse often.

Our words can reveal what we've been carrying: gratitude or resentment, hope or fear, compassion or contempt.

That doesn't mean you have to police every sentence or paste a smile over genuine pain. Sometimes the truthful words are: “I'm hurting.” “I'm scared.” “I need help.”

Those aren't bad words.

They're honest ones.

Words Can Build Up or Tear Down

Proverbs 18:21 gives enormous weight to the tongue, describing life and death as being in its power.

We know this in ordinary life.

A parent's words can stay with a child for decades. A spouse can make home feel safe or hostile with a sentence. A friend's encouragement can arrive on exactly the day somebody needs it.

And the words we use about ourselves matter too.

You do not have to insult yourself into becoming better.

Speak Goodness

I used to think speaking goodness meant forcing myself to say positive things until everything felt positive.

I don't anymore.

Faith isn't pretending.

Speaking goodness can be much simpler: tell the truth without feeding despair. Express gratitude without denying grief. Encourage somebody without flattering them. Apologize when you're wrong. Refuse to repeat gossip. Pray when you don't know what else to say.

And when your own mind is being particularly rude to you, maybe don't give it a microphone.

Change the Recording

Philippians 4:8 tells us to think about what is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely and worthy of praise.

Notice that it begins with what is true.

Not fake optimism. Not pretending difficult things aren't difficult.

Truth.

Then we can ask: Is the way I'm talking about this helping me respond wisely? Is it building something? Is it unnecessarily cruel - especially when I'm talking to myself?

A Few Simple Practices

Before answering in anger, leave a little room between the feeling and the sentence.

Be present when someone else is talking instead of preparing your rebuttal.

Say 'thank you' out loud.

Tell people what you appreciate about them while they're here to hear it.

Speak to yourself with the same basic dignity you would offer someone you love.

And sometimes, be quiet.

Not every thought needs published in the comment section.

Good In. Good Out.

Words are one part of Consuming Goodness because they move in both directions.

We consume other people's words.

And other people consume ours.

So choose them with care.

Speak truth.

Speak kindness.

Speak gratitude.

Speak faith.

And when you don't have something good to say, sometimes silence really is a perfectly good contribution.

Consuming Goodness.

Good in. Good out.

Love yourself, as yourself. Gal. 5:14®